I was shopping with my children for their basic needs and I saw a sale on a dozen Clif bars for $9.99. All of a sudden I began to pick up two boxes. I was justifying that I need the bars for my upcoming 1/2 marathon race yet I knew I should not be purchasing those bars. In the past I would love Clif bars, especially the carrot cake, chocolate chip and the peanut butter crunch. The chocolate chip and the peanut butter crunch was there. Oooh, what temptation. I put two cases in my cart and was roaming around while my children were chatting. I began to talk to myself to get to the root of why I had to buy those bars but really didn't want to. Finally, I convinced myself that as a raw vegan, I need to make my own bars. They'll taste better and be better for me. Then I thought to myself (because I need to really budget my money) that I would be better off spending $20 on good raw vegan/natural health propaganda and then this chemical crap. BINGO!! My head snapped back to normal and I left the boxes at the register.
I can't seem to give up totally on the 811 diet. I love my fruits. Now that the seasons are changing, I'll have to discover season-appropriate fruits like peaches and figs right now. I've increased my greens and I've felt better.
I've been dealing with a lot of stress and weight fluctuation. I know a lot has to do with my not being a 100% raw...it has been between 75-100. I've had a lot of traumatic experiences in my life and I'm just trying to deal with it in the right way. I think right now, I don't want to be on the 811 diet. I need to find the right kind of raw diet. High fat for me is out because it will just store as fat. I won't be doing dehydrated stuff but I think I need to increase my greens and lessen my fruits because I'm just only interested in eating fruits like mangos and pineapple and nothing else. I feel like a buffalo and I'm tired of feeling this well. It doesn't help that I work in an office on my ass. Ugh! I haven't given up on my raw food business and I think this period that I will certainly overcome will be inspiring to others.
On a positive note, I'm moving to an area that has wonderful parks and will allow me to be more active. I changed my shifts at work so now I don't have to do 12-hour days 2x a week. I want to spend more time with my family. Things are changing...baby steps, baby steps. I need to surround myself with more raw foodists.