Saturday, April 19, 2008

Ups and Downs

I've been going through some weird emotional feelings lately. I've been a bit discouraged about my weight gain during pregnancy. I really let it get out of hand. It just makes me feel like a weak person. I know it will take time for me to take it off but I get impatient sometimes. My hubs is very supportive and hasn't said or done anything to make me feel bad. I just seem to be juggling a lot of things and not getting a good grasp on any one of them. I am so fed up with my Masters program and after 4 years and 2 babies, I'm still not done. Ernesto is going through his temper tantrums and I don't know what to do sometimes. A part of me just wants to escape to a tropical island and live on coconuts and pineapple. I feel such a sense of imbalance and I'm trying to find ways to re-establish and to reconnect my life. I would love to take an ashtanga yoga class. I do have DVDs but I prefer the classroom setting with the music and the instructor making sure my body is positioned correctly.

I haven't prayed in days and I also feel a disconnect spiritually. Last night my hubs noticed that and we read a Biblical scripture. It was from the book of Psalms about trusting in the Lord. We prayed afterwards and I led the prayer. It felt wonderful talking to God. That's how I see a conversation. I just poured my heart out and I guess I carried on for a long time because my hubs was dozing off. *smile* I really need God's guidance to keep me moving and centered. I need to breathe, pray, move, eat raw and sleep. I need to organize my time to allow myself to enjoy my family and not be frustrated with them when in actuality I'm frustrated with myself.


1 comment:

Douglas said...

I can relate on the time to enjoy famiy. I have been coining it my social quota of late. Mine is not as big as others? Not sure but I know I need lots of alone time to feel in connection with myself.

Nice to see you here :)