Life is too short and Life is precious. I'm actually quite disappointed in myself. I've been acting cowardly and lazy about finishing my Masters degree. It has been dragging on for four years (4 years and 2 children). I really hate academic writing and I've been doubting my abilities to write a proper research paper. I need to finish because it's getting expensive. This session is the last session.
Last week I went to see my advisor. We usually communicate via email or I just drop off copies in his mailbox at the university. When I arrived at his house, I was surprised to see him bald. It hit me that he was suffering from a severe illness. I hadn't known until that moment. My heart broke because his wife just gave birth to another beautiful daughter 2 months ago, who is a spitting image of him. I didn't want to be like those people who don't talk about the pink elephant in the room. I asked him what was going on and he was very matter of fact about it. My advisor is battling leukemia. The cancer has returned and he's trying to fight it again. Hearing that gave me a kick in the butt about my life and how I've been wasting certain areas of it. I know and everyone knows that life is precious and short but yet, we never seem to fulfill our dreams/goals. Fear holds us back, sometimes complacency and laziness, even selfishness. Guilty as charged.
I would gripe and whine to my advisor about how I can't finish this paper, I hate this paper, I don't know even know if it makes sense. What the heck is my thesis and blah blah blah. He would always encourage me and tell me to push on. I'm complaining about something that is of small significance in comparison to my real values and my advisor is fighting for his life. He must chuckle or roll his eyes at people like me.
So, I just want to say to my advisor thank you for every criticism and encouragement you've given me. You are the toughest advisor out there, a sock-it-to-'em-cuz-they-need-it kind of person. I thought you were stone cold but there is a warmth and generosity that has always been there and even you get tired. You never baby anyone and you never make excuses. I know you will beat this cancer and I will be praying for you night and day (no cliché).